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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD


Rated PG-13

DIRECTOR: Edgar Wright
STARRING: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead
WRITTEN BY: Edgar Wright, Michael Bacall
(Based on the graphic novel by: Bryan Lee O'Malley)


CRITICAL SCORE: 9 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 10 / 10





PLOT
Scott Pilgrim must defeat his new girlfriend's 7 evil exes to win her heart.

TRAILER TRASH
Right out of the bag, I thought this shit looked crazy cool inventive and pretty different from the normal fair.  Plus, after just checking out another recent and super cool Cera flick, YOUTH IN REVOLT, I was pretty pumped to see SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD.  So, was this thing a shallow effects-driven mess or was SPVTW actually an 'epic of epic epicness'?.. (The rhyming of the previous sentence is unintentional and upon further review, goofier than a wooden watch.  Therefore, I leave it for your viewing pleasure.)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

THE EXPENDABLES

Rated R

DIRECTOR: Sylvester Stallone
STARRING: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Gary Daniels, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Testosterone
WRITTEN BY: Sylvester Stallone, David Callaham



CRITICAL SCORE: 6 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 7 / 10



PLOT
Sly and his band of mercenaries are hired by Bruce Willis to overthrow a dictator (backed by a corrupt U.S. Agent and his cronies - played by Eric Roberts, Steve Austin and Gary Daniels) in a foreign country, are double-crossed and the motherfuckin' diarrhea shits blast all up in the proverbial fan.

TRAILER TRASH
After seeing the trailers, I wasn't as hype about this flick as my friends.  I thought THE EXPENDABLES looked okay, but that it was probably going to be another let down with slick camera work, watered down action, too much CGI and lame fight sequences not involving the main cast actually fighting one another.  I basically thought these guys were going to beat a bunch of extras to death while trying to look cool and save face.  So, did I clock that bitch in the sweet spot or did THE EXPENDABLES actually snarl its upper lip and deliver a beating to it's audience like the red-headed stepchildren they are?!

LOCK AND LOAD
Listen up all men, hermaphrodites, cross-dressers and anyone(thing) with a pair of danglies.  It is your fucking duty as a ball swinger to get your pansy-ass to the theatre and see THE EXPENDABLES.  If you're a chick, and you have more cojones then your dude, I implore you to shake your little ass over to your local cinema, make numbnuts go with you and he might stop "borrowing" your eyeliner and skinny jeans.

Monday, August 16, 2010

THE RUNAWAYS

Rated R

DIRECTOR: Floria Sigismondi
STARRING: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning
WRITTEN BY: Floria Sigismondi
(Based on the book 'Neon Angel' by: Cherie Currie)


CRITICAL SCORE: 7 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 8 / 10






PLOT
A coming-of-age biopic about the pioneering 70's teenage all girls rock band, The Runaways; specifically centered around Cherie Currie and Joan Jett.

TRAILER TRASH
Last year I happened on a little gem of a film from 1980 called FOXES which starred a teenage Jodie Foster.  Foster is, of course, good in FOXES, however the breakout performance came from someone I had never heard of; Cherie Currie.  So engaging was Cherie in the film, I was compelled to learn more about her and thus read all about her past in the jailbait supergroup, The Runaways.  Literally a week later, news that a film based on Cherie's book 'Neon Angel' had been cast and it would star the incomparable Dakota Fanning as Cherie.  I was skeptical whether the first time director, Floria Sigismondi, could deliver a film that did justice to The Runaways legacy and to Cherie's life. From everything I had read about the production and from Sigismondi herself, I knew this was going to be a film made with a ton of passion and respect for the source.  That combined with great casting meant I was pulling for this flick to live up to its inspiration.  So, was THE RUNAWAYS a homely prude, or was it 'the girl next door, the fox I'd been waiting for?'...