SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD

Rated PG-13

DIRECTOR: Edgar Wright
STARRING: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead
WRITTEN BY: Edgar Wright, Michael Bacall
(Based on the graphic novel by: Bryan Lee O'Malley)


CRITICAL SCORE: 9 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 10 / 10

PLOT

Scott Pilgrim must defeat his new girlfriend's 7 evil exes to win her heart.

TRAILER TRASH

Right out of the bag, I thought this shit looked crazy cool inventive and pretty different from the normal fair.  Plus, after just checking out another recent and super cool Cera flick, YOUTH IN REVOLT, I was pretty pumped to see SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD.  So, was this thing a shallow effects-driven mess or was SPVTW actually an 'epic of epic epicness'?.. (The rhyming of the previous sentence is unintentional and upon further review, goofier than a wooden watch.  Therefore, I leave it for your viewing pleasure.)

THE EXPENDABLES

Rated R

DIRECTOR: Sylvester Stallone
STARRING: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Gary Daniels, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Testosterone
WRITTEN BY: Sylvester Stallone, David Callaham



CRITICAL SCORE: 6 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 7 / 10

PLOT

Sly and his band of mercenaries are hired by Bruce Willis to overthrow a dictator (backed by a corrupt U.S. Agent and his cronies - played by Eric Roberts, Steve Austin and Gary Daniels) in a foreign country, are double-crossed and the motherfuckin' diarrhea shits blast all up in the proverbial fan.

TRAILER TRASH

After seeing the trailers, I wasn't as hype about this flick as my friends.  I thought THE EXPENDABLES looked okay, but that it was probably going to be another let down with slick camera work, watered down action, too much CGI and lame fight sequences not involving the main cast actually fighting one another.  I basically thought these guys were going to beat a bunch of extras to death while trying to look cool and save face.  So, did I clock that bitch in the sweet spot or did THE EXPENDABLES actually snarl its upper lip and deliver a beating to it's audience like the red-headed stepchildren they are?!

LOCK AND LOAD

Listen up all men, hermaphrodites, cross-dressers and anyone(thing) with a pair of danglies.  It is your fucking duty as a ball swinger to get your pansy-ass to the theatre and see THE EXPENDABLES.  If you're a chick, and you have more cojones then your dude, I implore you to shake your little ass over to your local cinema, make numbnuts go with you and he might stop "borrowing" your eyeliner and skinny jeans.

THE RUNAWAYS

Rated R

DIRECTOR: Floria Sigismondi
STARRING: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning
WRITTEN BY: Floria Sigismondi
(Based on the book 'Neon Angel' by: Cherie Currie)


CRITICAL SCORE: 7 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 8 / 10

PLOT

A coming-of-age biopic about the pioneering 70's teenage all girls rock band, The Runaways; specifically centered around Cherie Currie and Joan Jett.

TRAILER TRASH

Last year I happened on a little gem of a film from 1980 called FOXES which starred a teenage Jodie Foster.  Foster is, of course, good in FOXES, however the breakout performance came from someone I had never heard of; Cherie Currie.  So engaging was Cherie in the film, I was compelled to learn more about her and thus read all about her past in the jailbait supergroup, The Runaways.  Literally a week later, news that a film based on Cherie's book 'Neon Angel' had been cast and it would star the incomparable Dakota Fanning as Cherie.  I was skeptical whether the first time director, Floria Sigismondi, could deliver a film that did justice to The Runaways legacy and to Cherie's life. From everything I had read about the production and from Sigismondi herself, I knew this was going to be a film made with a ton of passion and respect for the source.  That combined with great casting meant I was pulling for this flick to live up to its inspiration.  So, was THE RUNAWAYS a homely prude, or was it 'the girl next door, the fox I'd been waiting for?'...

INCEPTION

Rated PG-13

DIRECTOR: Christopher Nolan
STARRING: Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page
WRITTEN BY: Christopher Nolan


CRITICAL SCORE: 9 / 10

BULLET POINTS: 9 / 10

PLOT

In the world of high stakes corporate espionage, Dom Cobb is a thief hired to extract vital information from the subconscious of his targets by hijacking their dreams.  He is given a last chance to clear his name and get his life back if he can accomplish the near impossible task of inception; planting an idea in his target's mind.

TRAILER TRASH

Christopher Nolan has directed some of my favorite films starring my favorite actors (MEMENTO with Guy Pearce, THE DARK KNIGHT with Heath Ledger) and is fast becoming a director that I would put into the prestigious category of "Untouchable".  It was no surprise to me that the trailer for INCEPTION damn near gave me chills, pandering to some of my favorite subjects, actors and genres.  I've always been a huge fan of Leonardo DiCaprio and have, as of late, been more and more impressed with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Cillian Murphy.  INCEPTION was easily the movie I pined for and anticipated the most this summer, looking to be the rare combination of an intelligent, thought-provoking, mindfuck entertainment slap in the mouth summer 2010 has needed.  That said, I am largely disappointed when having any high expectation at all before seeing a flick, so I sat down, albeit a bit giddy, more than a tad cynical as well.  Let's face it, this summer has been pretty sucktacular as far as quality of film is concerned.  I honestly sat down hoping for the best and expecting the worst.  Let's see how Nolan's pet project stacks up.

PREDATORS

Rated R

DIRECTOR: Nimrod Antal
STARRING: Adrien Brody, Alice Braga
WRITTEN BY: Alex Litvak, Michael Finch
  

CRITICAL SCORE:  6 / 10

BULLET POINTS:  7 / 10 

PLOT

A goulash of bad asses are dropped (literally) on a game preserve planet and hunted down for sport by an alien race of predators.

TRAILER TRASH

John McTiernan's 1987 slice of kickass known as PREDATOR is one of my absolute favorite flicks ever put to celluloid and holds the special honor of being the movie I paid to watch at the theater more times than any other film.  That is a tough act to follow for any sequel, but I find PREDATOR 2 to be quite underrated and a pretty damned solid entry into the Predator Franchise.  Yes, AVP was pretty awful and although AVP: REQUIEM stepped it's game up a couple of notches on the entertainment scale, both flicks are severely lacking and didn't deliver the goods for most fans.  As a Predator geek, I think most of us were happy just to have another Predator film delivered to our mandibles for consumption, much less one produced by genre fave, Robert Rodriguez.  However, after the buzz of pre-release euphoria wore off, it was time to sit down in that dark cold theater with my Reeses Pieces in hand and finally see whether or not PREDATORS actually delivered on it's hype and on it's own as a film.  As Jesse Ventura's character Blain might say, "Let's lock and load you slack-jawed faggots because it's time to let ol' painless out of the bag!"