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Friday, November 2, 2012

31 Nights of Horror 2012 - PART 1

Yeah, I haven't posted a review of anything since August 2010.  What did I do in 2011 and most of 2012?  Moved to L.A.  Got my ass whipped by life.  I am sure all 3 of you who read this have been aching in your loins for some SilverBulletCinema blog action.  So, I'm going to review my 2nd Annual horror film marathon, just touching on the pink parts.  I'm also including my rating of the film next to the title, in case you're color blind.  Here we go...

October 1st - SESSION 9  8/10
It surprises me how many people aren't familiar with this film.  It's a creepy as hell slow burn shot in an abandoned asylum that is actually haunted.  Session 9 has atmosphere to spare and an ending I will only refer to as murky. Fucking bad fucking ass. The acting is top notch.  And, yes, as a matter of fact that one dude right there is Josh Lucas.  You're welcome.

October 2nd - BLACK SABBATH  6/10
It's Italian. It's from 1963. Ozzy and company named their band after it. I prefer the first of the two films "The Telephone".  Love the look of this film too.  Based on the first 3 sentences I stated, you should watch it.

October 3rd -  Double Feature - THE VIDEO DEAD  5/10
 This flick from the 80's looks like it was shot on a camcorder with the neighbors kids as the leads. Disturbingly, I was entertained nonetheless. This fucking atrocity of cheesetasticness will retro rape your eyes.
THE GATE  7/10
Hello little Craig Sheffer.  I've loved this movie since I watched it at a slumber party when I was a hairless preteen.  If you haven't seen it, then what the fuck?  It has stop motion animation bitches.

October 4rth - THE BURNING  7/10
The Jewish Friday the 13th.  George Costanza gets murdered at summer camp.  Oh, I gave away a plot point.  What an arsehole. Fun movie.  Saw this for the first time a few years ago.  Nice gore, typical F13 rip off plot but easily one of the better ones.

October 5th - SLITHER  9/10
I know you've seen this.  If not, I'd tell you to just go kill yourself but then I wouldn't want you to die without witnessing the perfect storm of B-Horror on the A-Level.  If you haven't seen this, I'm telling Nathan Fillion on his twitter and he will tweet your failure to millions. 

October 6th - THE FACULTY  7/10
Robert Rodriguez and a shitload of talented young actors make a Drive-In worthy Sci/Fi-Horror rip of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.  Holy shit, he totally called the energy-drink fad.  Just imagine what a FourLoco would do to one of those aliens.

October 7th - THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY  10/10
Italian masterpiece.  One of my personal favorites.  One of Fulci's absolute best.  The pacing, the shots, the atmosphere, the gore, elements of the supernatural as well as a nice nod to Frankenstein.  What more do you need?

October 8th - Double Feature - CHILD'S PLAY  8/10
Chucky.  That's my review.  You've seen it.
SEED OF CHUCKY  4/10
These have steadily gotten worse and gone into straight bullshit camp.  I mildly liked the Jennifer Tilly plot but it has a fucking rapper in it.  Redman.  Who plays himself.  Who is referred to a couple of times as what sounds like "Redmin".  My guess is that this is an attempt to make it sound less fucking ridiculous to call some one "Red Man" in normal conversation.  This was my first time seeing this and it was everything I thought it would be.  I'm actually looking forward to the reboot.  That's fucked up.

October 9th - WEREWOLF: THE BEAST AMONG US  6/10

I don't know, there might be a plot point in the title y'all.  Fuck me with a turnip.  Meh.  The werewolf looked cool.  It's entertaining if you are a werewolf fan.  I still think the werewolf genre has not had it's night in the full moon, to silver coin a phrase.  I just threw up in my mouth proofreading that last sentence.  Seriously though, I really would love to see an amazing werewolf movie in the next few years.  I happen to be writing one and have ideas for another.  Tangent.  I gave this one extra point for actually having a werewolf in the film instead of a giant wolf.  Yes, there is a fucking difference.

October 10th - BURN WITCH BURN  8/10
Honestly, I have a hard time enjoying a lot of older horror films lately.  Maybe it's the rehashing of the same plots I've seen incessantly in newer films that ruins the old ones for me upon retroactively viewing.  Well, I have no such trouble with this film.  Masterfully acted and directed, this gem from 1962 still shines in all of it's black and white glory.  Originally titled Night of the Eagle (you'll understand after you see it), I really dug the storyline from start to finish. Highly recommend this and if Hollywood wants to remake everything in horror, I submit that this one would be amazing with the right director.


Okay, I'm sick of writing tonight.  I'm going to watch something.  Here is the list of the rest of the films that will be included in the next 2 parts to this review.  There were some real surprises for me and I can't wait to get to them.  

ROAD TRAIN (US TITLE - ROAD KILL)
SCARECROWS
THE DEVIL'S ROCK
ELVIRA: MISTRESS OF THE DARK
Double Feature - DOLLY DEAREST & DOLLS
THE HAUNTING OF JULIA
CHILDREN OF THE CORN
DON'T LOOK NOW
TOURIST TRAP
PHANTASM
HOUSE OF WAX (1953)
MOON OF THE WOLF
THE CRAFT
THE LOST BOYS
1408
GHOST SHIP
DEADLY BLESSING
SUSPIRIA
INFERNO
MOTHER OF TEARS
Double Feature - HALLOWEEN 4 & HALLOWEEN 5



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