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Monday, November 5, 2012

31 Nights of Horror - PART 3: The Final Battle

Sluts, I'm fresh off of a FRINGE: Season 3 marathon (I'm late to the ballgame on this show but I fuckin' love it and I'm 1/3 through Season 3) and I'm back to finish off this trilogy of reviews.  My God, someone give me a medal because I know I'm the best at least entertaining myself.  For fucks sake, look at that previous sentence.  Who reads this shit anyway?

October 22nd - MOON OF THE WOLF  5/10
This 1972 ABC Movie of the Week is good... for a made for TV movie from 1972.  Obviously, there's not much in the way of gore or fright factor.  I like the straight ahead honesty of this little flick and some of the performances are actually quite good.  For that, along with a pretty decent wolfman, this one earned a quiet nod and a smile.  I'd shake it's hand and buy it a whiskey but I wouldn't take it home to bed.  Entertaining for what it is, it was a nice segue between the previous film and the next.


October 23rd - THE CRAFT  8/10
First off, I didn't realize the first time around how Fairuza Balk is ridiculously talented and her performance in this film is fucking amazing.  The whole cast really nails it here but she stands out.  I honestly did not remember this film being this entertaining or solid.  It sort of took me unaware because I haven't seen it in years and it not only holds up really well for a 90's flick but was much better this time around.  The whole vibe of the film is just so 90's dope, anyone who was a teen during that time can't help but dig on this.  It's also cool, now that I'm living in L.A. to notice all off the places this was shot.  I highly encourage you to revisit this one if it's been a while.  Lastly, there is something so enigmatically sexy and appealing about Fairuza's damaged, off the reservation, character and performance, I've had a crush on her since I was teen.  Crush renewed.


October 24rth - THE LOST BOYS  10/10
I make no apologies.  I am in no way ashamed of the constant references I get to looking like a young Kiefer Sutherland from Lost Boys or Stand By Me.  Happens all of the time.  I don't understand it, but fuck it.  It's a nice break from the Thor and Jax Teller references.  Bottom line is this film is a fucking 80's classic.  If you don't think so, I will tear your gorramned lymphatic system straight the fuck out and use your heart for a fucking coin purse.  You've got the 2 Coreys, you've got a young Jason Patric Solarbabying the shit outta this film, you've got an amazing script, cast and performances, you've got gore, you've got the appearance of PeanutButterBoppers in gramps candy spot, Billy Wirth straight getting the death by stereo, fucking Bill S. Preston Esquire mulleting your oculars like a fucking champion and you've got KIEFER FUCKING SUTHERLAND making this film his little backyard whore and I don't even know what that means.  Fucking classic.  Son of a bitch, someone go get me my parachute pants, my baby blue GT Pro Performer, a boombox loaded with some 80's metal and new wave, a line of cocaine, a paint splattered lime green shirt and get your bodadical radacious ass out of my fucking way because I'm already sporting some Roos, got the retro sideswept River Phoenix hair and drive an 87 Fiero GT and giveth no fucks.  Where am I?  What am I talking about?  Brah's and Brahnettes, I'm nurkin' and you can go suck an egg if you aren't feelin' this film.  Fucking Lost. Fucking. Boys.

October 25th - 1408  7/10
John Cusack could make a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich on camera and somehow be completely entertaining, affable and make me want to take him out for a beer and shoot the shit.  Just be my friend John Cusack.  I give props to this film for Sam Jackson's performance here as well.  Really makes an impact with such little screen time.  Straight up kudos to myself for living in a fucking hotel (no comment) and watching this.  Made it that much more disturbing.  Stephen King, you twisted badass, thank you for the story.  Solid film.

October 26th - GHOST SHIP  5/10
Alright, this film straight ripped the poster art straight the fuck off of the eerily moody and still out of print 1980 flick Death Ship.  Only fucking Hollywood ends a fucking ghost story with such pomp and explosions.  Ahh, maybe I need to give it a 3rd go in case I need to listen to some Mudvayne and am more prepared for what I think is more action that horror.  I almost need to give this film an extra point for Karl Urban's American accent.  It's more American than mine and I'm from Texas.

October 27th - DEADLY BLESSING  7/10
Hello young Sharon Stone who shows up in the 2nd act.  You are 1981 HottieHot.  Wes Craven makes a flick about Devil worship in Amish country.  They weren't Amish... something else stricter than that I guess.  I don't know.  Religiousy Religion stuff that is oogy.  Deadly Blessing has a somewhat palpable sense of dread, some solid acting, a satisfying last act and I didn't really know where things were going.  All of that is good.  Started off a little stiff and dry (that's what she said) but got better.  This would be a good double feature with Children of the Corn.  Similar vibe.

October 28th - SUSPIRIA  10/10
Suspiria is an absolutely seminal, genre shattering, 1977 Italian horror film from master director Dario Argento that is, and will continue to be, one of the most influential stunningly artistic and disturbing horror films of all time.  The colors, the direction, the music, the acting, the sets... masterpiece.  So many great directors from all genres know this film well for a very good reason.  If you haven't seen it, no matter your taste in films, it should be on your must watch list.  I envy you because I wish I could watch it for the first time every time.  The reality bending fantasy terror concerns a ballet school in Germany, a centuries old coven of witches led by Mater Suspiriorum, The Mother of Sighs, one of three witches that will bring about the end of times on a world wide scale through their black magic.  One of my absolute favorite films of all time.  A pinnacle of the genre and of all films.  Period.  End of story.

October 29th - INFERNO  9/10
Not nearly as critically loved as Suspiria, this 1980 film carries the theme of the the Three Mothers to New York, where the cruelest of the trio, Mater Tenebrarum (The Mother of Darkness), resides.  Even less straight forward in plot structure than Suspiria, this film is still considered by many to be a masterpiece of surreal supernatural terror and probably still makes the top 25 list for me of best horror films ever made.  Death personified.  Love the artistic flare of this one and the mood of this film and much like Suspiria, cannot be matched.  Keith Emerson of Emerson, Lake and Palmer lends a top notch thundering soundtrack of creep to this.

October 30th - MOTHER OF TEARS  7/10
The final entry in the Three Mothers trilogy, this brutal 2007 entry wraps things up with Mater Lachrymarum, The Third Mother known as The Mother of Tears.  Argento directs his sexy daughter, Asia Argento, in the lead role.  Less colorful, more straightforward, the tone of this film differs vastly from the previous films in the trilogy and has a blunt edge; a rawness and harsh brutality that takes the place of the fantasy feel of the other films.  This is an incredibly solid movie but some of that intangible magic is missing here.  All the same, I enjoy a great many things about the final film but it always leaves me wanting more... still highly recommended.

October 31st - Double Feature - HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS  8/10
The return of the boogieman to the formula that the original Halloween film redefined, which in turn invented a genre.  An incredibly fun slasher film with my favorite personification of pure evil.  Amazing performance by Danielle Harris as well.  Love this one.  Biggest bone to pick though was them using the cheap Don Post mask that just can't duplicate the original.  Hate it.  The original mask is so far superior.  All of the Halloween films have a special place on my shelves but... this is the last really good Halloween film until, in my opinion, H20.
HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS  6/10
The one that began the fucking Druid mythology, man in black, dumbass storyline that infected the franchise.  This one was the beginning of the end for the Halloween sequels.  Though it certainly still has it's moments, a lot of the general ambiance from the previous Michael Myers films is lost in this one.  Danielle Harris turns in another awesome performance, there are definitely some good scares, the mask is much better here (though still not as good as the original).  This is the one that spelled doom for the franchise.  I still love it nonetheless because it, at the very least, it doesn't completely lose coherency, has some memorable scares and does not star a fucking rapper.  Whatever... easily still my favorite horror film franchise and there is no other icon of horror that will ever be the personification of evil or the boogieman like Michael Myers.

Well, that's it for the 2012 31 Nights of Horror marathon.  Can't wait until next year to do it all over again with a new batch of horrifying, and not so horrifying, flicks.  Don't know when I'll post again or much else.  Hopefully before next year starts.  Leave a comment if inclined.  I love to hear other peoples thoughts on my favorite genre of movies.  Otherwise piss off and have a wonderful day or fantastic night or whatever the fuck time period you're dealing with in your version of reality.  Roll credits.

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